Travel Towards a Better Life

"Where are you going?”

We often ask one another, "What are your plans for the weekend?" or "Where are you going on vacation this year?" However, on a deeper level, where are you truly headed in your life?

Are you moving towards something that feels better, deeper, more meaningful? Or are you simply moving, reacting, drifting, or doing without noticing the path beneath your feet?

Many of us arrive at adulthood with a belief that the major shaping of our lives is behind us. We graduate, build careers, raise families, buy homes, pay bills. We “settle in.” We move forward with the momentum we’ve built and convince ourselves that we are content. And while these outer achievements carry their own kind of purpose, they can also leave us feeling as though we’re passengers in someone else's story. But what if there is another way of becoming? What if there is more available to us than we dared to imagine?

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A better life isn't necessarily about achieving milestones or following expected paths, it's a direction. Throughout my twenty-three years as a therapist, I've heard people express that it's too late to change or begin anew. Some have grown accustomed to a comfortable life, ignoring the quiet voice that signals something is missing. Others are burdened by years of pain and disappointment, convinced it's too late to heal.

These mindsets miss something essential: A better life isn’t a fixed destination. It’s a direction you choose to embrace. And no matter where you are on your life’s map you can still turn toward something more whole, more conscious and more aligned with who you truly are.

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The Luggage We Carry

As we travel through adulthood we often collect baggage, some of it useful, some of it heavy.

Beliefs are handed to us by culture, family, religion, or education. Consequently, we may carry with us expectations about success, beauty, and what it means to live a fulfilling life. Additionally, we may also carry wounds, regrets and a sense that parts of ourselves have gone missing along the way.

A better life doesn’t begin by running away from these parts. It begins by noticing them.

By opening the metaphorical suitcase, examining what we’ve packed, and deciding what still fits. In therapy we may ponder:

What beliefs are you carrying that no longer serve you?

What stories do you tell yourself that keep you small?

What roles are you playing that don’t reflect your truth?

Becoming more conscious requires awareness and acceptance surrounding the life circumstances that have shaped us. Awareness allows us to perceive ourselves more accurately, not through others' expectations, but by heeding our own inner voice. In therapy, this process is called self-witnessing. Dr. Hillary McBride, an author and therapist, describes self-witnessing as an invitation to approach our experiences with curiosity and compassion. We are invited to witness our inner life as we would with a close friend: not rushing to correct, not needing to understand everything immediately, but simply being present, as if saying to ourselves, "I see you, I'm here." Instead of observing from afar, self-witnessing, as Hillary teaches, is deeply embodied. We do not remain detached; we connect with our bodies, our sensations, and our breath. We listen not only to the words of our thoughts but also to the trembling in our hands, the tightening in our chest, the ache in our gut. These are the sacred texts of our experience.

This way of being asks us to suspend the urgency to change how we feel, and instead offer gentle attention to what is. If sadness is here, we make room for it. If joy is here, we savour it. If numbness is here, we notice its shape, its edges. Nothing is exiled. Through self-witnessing, we learn that we don’t need to be fixed, we need to be seen.

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The Journey Inward Before the Journey Outward

When we think of a “better life,” we often look outside ourselves. We consider new careers, relationships, hobbies, or even relocating somewhere more peaceful or exciting. While those external factors are important, the real transformation begins on the inside.

A better life does not start with plane ticket or a five-year plan but with the willingness to examine where we are and why. Are we living according to our values? Are we nourishing the parts of ourselves that need attention? It’s not about perfection. It’s about alignment.

Like any journey, we need a compass. In adult life, that compass is self-awareness. The road isn’t always linear and better does not mean easier. The path to a more authentic life often winds. We can detour, loop back, get stuck and doubt ourselves at times. However, as we notice and stay present with our experience, we begin to move with intention.

We can ask ourselves:

• “Is this choice taking me toward the life I want?”

• “Is this job, relationship, habit, or thought a reflection of the person I’m becoming or the person I’m afraid to leave behind?”

• “Am I building a life that feels true, or just tolerable?”

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Making the Shift

So, how do we begin?

Not with a grand gesture, but with a small shift in attention.

• Taking time to sit quietly and listen to what your inner voice is trying to say.

• Saying no to something that feels wrong, even if it’s familiar.

• Saying yes to something that scares you, but excites you.

• Having the conversation you’ve been avoiding.

• Doing the thing you promised yourself you’d do “someday.”

And perhaps, simply asking each morning: “What would a better life look like today?”

And then living one small part of that answer.

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The Road Home

As we travel through adulthood, we eventually realize that a better life isn’t something we discover on the horizon, it’s something we return to within ourselves. We come home to what matters. We shed what no longer does. We root into a deeper kind of joy, one not built on accomplishments or appearances, but on inner alignment. And like all true journeys, this one changes us.

If you've been contemplating when to start anew, when to adjust your course, or when to lift your eyes from the map and pause to ask, "Am I still heading in the direction I desire?"—then it's time to gently steer towards the life that remains to be lived.

Because it’s not too late.

Because you’re not too far gone.

Because the road to a better life begins right where you are.

As David Viscott wrote, "The mystery of your own life is a task that is yours alone. You can avoid the question entirely. You can pass through life as if in a dream, but then your life will lack depth and quickly become boring. Or you can seek to understand how you create the world you live in, take charge, and start building a life that fulfills you."